My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
