It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
