What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Less talking, more tequila
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
