Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
