We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
