I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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