I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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