i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
should my penis look like a turkey
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
