I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize