i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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