I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
