Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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