I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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