OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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