I'm gonna have a badass scar
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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