Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
