Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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