Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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