"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
