He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
