i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize