Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
