He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
