Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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