We're facebook friends in real life
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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