My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize