i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize