i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
