im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
