So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize