After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
