Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This toilet bowl is my home.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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