Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
