If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
