dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
