Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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