do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
