You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
