return my video game
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
