i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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