I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
