even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
