2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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