It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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