My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
