She's JV to your varsity
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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