he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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