He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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