the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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