So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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