did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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