By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
