i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
