Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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