So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
