stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
