I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
