You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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