so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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